


Matrix

by asterysk



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Gen, I'm Sorry, Linked Universe (Legend of Zelda)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:54:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25307860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asterysk/pseuds/asterysk
Summary: (written originally for the LU Discord Birthday event)A mishap leads to glitch abuse and chaos.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 120





	Matrix

**Author's Note:**

> Every glitch mentioned is a genuine glitch from said Link's game(s).

"TIME!" "Goddesses, can you see him?" "ARE YOU OKAY?!" "Does anyone have rope or something-"

Voices from above were echoing, filtering down with what sunlight there was, and the remaining loose stones and earth falling down. As he came to his senses, Time wondered how he kept ending up at the bottom of dark pits of varying descriptions.

"I'm okay!" The shout echoed back and rang in his ears, but above ground definitely heard something as the chatter quietened.

"ARE YOU HURT?!" 

"I'm a bit sore, but fine!" 

Some kind of murmuring from up top broke out again, as they bickered on how to rescue Time from the newly-formed pit.

"We don't have anything that reaches that far-" 

"What about my hookshot?" 

"The ground is too loose, it's still falling in-"

"That's why we need to DO something-"

Ignoring the discussion, Time shook the dirt from his boot before examining his surroundings. Was there anything that would help-

Oh.

There was  _ that _ .

The side of the pit there was the right mix of sheer, angular and flat, perfect for an old trick of his… but he'd never told it to anyone, much less shown it. It was… unconventional to say the least...

More dirt fell in. The longer he left it, the more likely it was he would be buried. 

Unseen to those above, Time stood up, shook some dirt out of his hair, and lined himself up with the wall very precisely. Gently, he edged up the wall, standing on virtually nothing as he defied logic and physics. And eventually, when the angle was perfect, he climbed that last stretch in a few strides.

The bickering stopped dead as they looked at him.

Warriors was the one to break the sudden silence. "...How did you get out?"

"I… found a way to clamber up? You don't have to worry now!" 

"But… you didn't climb. You  _ walked _ up…" Sky had been facing the pit when Time had appeared, and now looked like he was having an existential crisis.

Panicking now, Time scanned the group for their reactions. Sky, Twilight and Warriors all looked perplexed, yes, but the others… 

Wind was squinting up at him, as if trying to see through him physically.

"You can do them too, can't you? The Glitches. Did you clip into the wall to climb up?"

Wait. What?

Time blinked as he processed what Wind said, while unseen, Legend was going through a whole facial journey. 

"I'm not the only one?" Hyrule, too, looked  _ relieved _ more than anything. 

And in the midst of the confusion, Wild just laughed. And jumped. And, against all logic, hung in the air. Twilight's eyes practically bulged out of his head as Wild continued jumping, climbing higher and higher into the air. 

Wind yelled out of joy as he watched the scene, before speeding off  _ at a speed that should not be possible _ .

Time had hoped to use a little "trick" without people noticing, and instead had unleashed chaos: Wild was still climbing, Wind had raced back the other direction, Sky was having a full blown existential crisis, Four was muttering excitedly to themselves, Hyrule and Legend were taking turns to stick their arms through a nearby tree, and Twilight and Warriors were both having a mental breakdown.

Quietly, Time walked up to his protege and gently patted his shoulder. He didn't even tear his eyes away from the distant speck that was Wild. He looked… broken.

"How? Why? What… the  _ fuck?" _

"I… didn't realise it was this widespread."

"How the fuck is he doing that?"

"I have no idea. Maybe we can swap techniques?" Time handed Twilight a bottle of Lon Lon Milk.

Twilight took it and stared at it, brain truly starting to shut down. "Where did you get this?"

"Another trick of mine."

"You can materialize milk?"

"Yeah. I figured you needed a drink."

Twilight surveyed the abuse of physics taking place around them, before looking back at the milk.

"At least there are some silver linings here, because goddesses know I needed this."

**Author's Note:**

> (Apparently Skyward Sword and Twilight Princess are surprisingly stable except for a few sequence breaks and softlocks. Hyrule Warriors has a few minor glitches and apparently a money glitch but other than that, more stable the BotW.
> 
> Speaking of BotW did you know if you use stasis on a Guardian Stalker you can often get it to clip through the ground and vanish? I found that out accidentally.)


End file.
